Tips for Separation

The first days of school are filled with a mixture of high excitement and some anxiety for young children and their parents. Transitions are important and provide valuable opportunities for learning and growth. Here are some tips for making this transition to nursery school as smooth and comfortable as possible:

 Children need to trust that they are safe. It takes time to build a sense of trust in a new situation and with people who are relative strangers at first. Children take their cues from their parents/caregivers. It is important to let them know that you trust and like their teachers and that you think school is a safe place with caring adults.

 Upon entering your child’s classroom in the first days of school, you may wish to stay with your child for five or ten minutes. When it is time for you to go, be sure to explain that you are going to leave but that you will be back when school is over. Always say good-bye and reassure them that you will see them when the morning is over. Do not sneak out without their knowledge. They may cry, but it will probably be of short duration and not intense. If your child is highly distressed or distressed for a long period, we will contact you.

 After you say good-bye, do not go back into the room unless directed by the teacher or director. Going back in after leaving can be confusing and is usually unsettling to children (unless you told them that you would be right back.)
 Acknowledge your child’s feelings and say, “You are upset because I am going. In a little while you will want to play. Until then, your teachers will stay close to you.” By validating children’s feelings you let them know it is okay to be sad, angry or homesick.

 The transition to school is not only about separation, but about getting used to something new. Support your child’s ability to cope with these challenges by showing that you value and respect their ability to cope with things that are new and different.

 Coming to school on time and picking them up on time also helps to alleviate any anxieties they may have.


 Create a bond between your child and a teacher or assistant. Assistant teachers are great at playing with children and promoting friendships with others. They have lots of experience comforting children.

 Encourage brave behaviors. Remind children how well they have done in the past when Mommy and Daddy have been away, if there were such times.

 Focus on the positive. Don’t let children dwell on the negative things that might happen, but rather on the fun they will have at school.

 Make a play-date with child in the class. Try to promote a friendship between your child and another child in the classroom. You may find it helpful to meet outside of class in a fun, non-stressful place with the parents present.

 Separation is a process, not an event. Children who seem to have successfully separated from their parents and to be fully involved in school activities are still dealing with separation issues. Children need transitional support for a while.

 Separation anxiety can recur weeks after school begins. Sometimes children have gotten past the first excitement of a new school or class and begin to really understand that they are actually coming regularly. In other cases, an important event in their lives, such as the birth of a new sibling or a move or a death in the family, can cause them to return to the feelings of anxiety at being separated from parents while they’re at school.


These tips were taken from both websites and experience. You may also check out the websites below:
 http://school.familyeducation.com/back-to-school/anxiety/38786.html
 http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/internet/news/archives01/separation.cfm
 http://www.psych.westminster.edu/preschool/separat.htm
 http://school.familyeducation.com/back-to-school/anxiety/38786.html